While watching Heroes (seriously, yay), there was a commercial for tonight's NBC local news which actually said, "A psychic poodle with a message of death." Not watching television has deprived me of the wonders of local news. I'd forgotten how much I love it. I must've laughed for a minute and a half straight.

Also, thank you to Eric and Rebecca ( Read more... )

"People use poop for a lot of things."

Okay, so it was someone being interviewed and not a reporter, but still, it was on the news, so it counts. This also included the word poop being spoken over a half dozen times, most of which were explaining its many uses, and a few utterances of elephant dung.

Foot fetish.

Any fetish would do, really, but we've got a serial foot fetishist roaming around Philly of late, holding women up at gun point, making them take off their shoes, robbing them, and gods know what else. Tragic, yes, but amusing as well.

I am officially unemployed. Well, not entirely officially, but I'm not going back to the job I left at eight this morning. It was partially my decision, and partially someone else's. I knew where I wanted to be; the people in charge of deciding whether I should be there or not decided for the latter; as such, I feel no obligation to finish off the ( Read more... )

What do Adolf Hitler and Tickle Me Elmo have in common?

Meth, of course!

In Mont Clare a tree snapped in half and then toppled onto power wires. It left homes in the dark and PECO crews busy. Residents did what they could to pass the time, with no electricity to help.

"Coming up at 11: One mummified mother found. Two sisters turn themselves in."

Yeah, let's add "mummified mother" to my list.

Edit:
Justin adds, upon seeing the mother's picture, "That's one angry mother!"

It is also worth note that they found the mother's body in tupperware. Egyptians never had that!

Edit the Second:They aren't in that much ( Read more... )

Bummer.

Par-tay!

Seriously, these have both been on the local news this week. I'm hoping for crackwhore eventually, but I don't see it happening.

Tonight, they also made bad jokes about FCC fines...

I love it when the news tells us how to be terrorists. Tonight on CBS 3, in a bit brilliantly titled Toxic Trains, we've learned excellent locations of underprotected hazmats. Hazardous materials that you, yes you, the everyday recreational terrorist could hijack or blow up at whim, ruining the lives of your neighbors ( Read more... )

A few days ago, I caught a story on the news about a murder out in Berks County. They had arrested a subject. The station I was watching reported the guy's name as Steve Austin. Now, however, the stories I'm finding online say that the identity of the suspect (or "person of interest" if you prefer) has not been released. What the hell? It's ( Read more... )